Harbor Lights – DBT 2.4

Harbor Lights: Co-Regulation & Support Map

DBT • LEVEL 2.4 • Harbor Lights

No one is meant to ride every storm alone. In DBT, emotion regulation is not only an inside job — it also includes co-regulation: letting other people, places, and practices help your nervous system settle.

Think of your nervous system as a small boat in a big ocean. When the waters get rough, your harbor lights are the signals that say: “Safe place here. Safe person here. Safe practice here.” This module helps you map those lights so you can find your way back when waves are high.

People mode: Think of one person (or type of person) who helps your body exhale just a little when you are with them.

Notice how each mode of the lighthouse represents a different way of finding steadier ground: People who are safe enough, places where your system softens, practices that regulate you, and your future self — the version of you who remembers the way back, even when you feel lost.

Harbor Map

Fill in whatever is true for you right now. Empty spaces are not failures — they’re invitations to build.

1. People: Who are your safest or “safer” humans for co-regulation? (Friends, clinicians, family, online communities, animals.)

2. Places: What physical or imagined places help your body settle, even a little?

3. Practices: What actions, rituals, or sensory anchors help regulate you?

4. Signal phrases: How can you ask for support in a way that feels doable?

Harbor Lights Quiz

Test your understanding of co-regulation and support mapping.

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