🫖 Return to Me

"Connection is safer when I include myself."

When you are appeasing and attuning, your attention can lock onto other people. You might scan for what they want, shape-shift to keep things smooth, or say yes before you even check in. This practice is not about becoming cold. It is about coming back to yourself, while staying kind.

Try this, slowly:

• Place one hand on your chest, or on your belly.
• Ask quietly, What do I feel right now?
• Ask next, What do I want, even a little?
• Find one simple sentence you can say to yourself, I am allowed to pause.
• If you are with someone, practice a soft boundary phrase, Let me think about that.

(Repeat for 2 to 3 minutes, or until you feel more inside your own body.)