Begin Where You Are
Precontemplation
You may not believe change is necessary — and that’s a valid part of the process. Often, this stage is accompanied by defensiveness, denial, or the sense that others are overreacting. If you're here, the most important thing is to stay curious. Ask yourself: What are people gently trying to show me? If I paused the internal debate, what deeper emotion might be underneath? You are not broken — you are protecting yourself. Reflection, not pressure, opens the door.
Nudge: Try writing a letter to your future self. What would you want to know if change ever did feel necessary?
Contemplation
This is the sacred threshold. You’re beginning to wonder — and wonder is powerful. You may feel ambivalent, torn between comfort and growth. That’s not weakness; it’s the soil of change. Let yourself imagine what life could be like on the other side, without demanding a decision. Clarity doesn’t come from pressure — it comes from compassion and quiet reflection.
Nudge: Make a list of what you're afraid you’ll lose if you change — and another list of what you hope you’ll gain.
Preparation
You’re beginning to gather your tools, make plans, and whisper to yourself: “Maybe I can do this.” This is a time to build support systems, structure, and accountability — not because you’re weak, but because you’re wise. The intention is real now. Let yourself be proud of that. Movement is coming.
Tip: Tell one person you trust about your intention — and ask them to simply witness it, without advice.
Action
You are walking the walk. Whether it’s a single change or a complete shift, you’ve entered motion. This is where new patterns begin to root. It can feel exhilarating, exhausting, or both. Celebrate the small wins. Be gentle on the days it’s hard. You are not alone. Every step is a brave choice to meet yourself more fully.
Affirmation: “Each action I take is an act of care for my future self.”
Maintenance
You’ve made meaningful changes and are holding the line. That takes consistency, courage, and deep self-awareness. Now is the time to notice what’s helping you succeed — and protect it. Rituals, community, self-check-ins. Don’t confuse maintenance with arrival — it’s not the end of the journey, it’s the deepening of it. Keep weaving your new life into who you are becoming.
Tip: Write down three things that have supported your progress — and make a plan to keep them in your life.
Relapse
Returning to old patterns does not erase the progress you made. Relapse is not failure — it’s a teacher. It reveals cracks in the foundation, unmet needs, or moments when you needed comfort more than control. This is the moment to reflect without shame. Ask: What hurt? What helped? What would I do differently next time? Then begin again — not from the beginning, but from wisdom.
Nudge: Write down one thing you learned about yourself from this experience — and one gentle way to move forward.